A Well-Ordered Mind

How do people select their values, then? Either they extol the conscientious and disciplined man, or they romanticize the creative bohemian. But what is the conscientious man trying to do, except keep chaos and anxiety out of his mind? And what does the bohemian do but indulge so that terror is kept at bay? The first imperative of every human being, having ensured his survival, is to structure his consciousness. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that man fears the dissolution of his consciousness into chaos more than he fears death. The dissolute hedonist and the self-righteous conservative are, ultimately, after the same thing.

And neither is fundamentally wrong. It is only when preferences are transformed into rigid values, and rigid values into calcified opinions, that mayhem ensues.

Possibility

The kingdom of infinite possibility has exhausted all of its delights. The desert beckons.

Invocation

I am not master in my own house.

Dionysus, Liberator, you grip me and whisper “Seize the day and all its delights, and neglect not sweet wine nor the ladies’ embrace. All this is your birthright! Soon the earth will cover your bones, so rejoice, rejoice!”. It matters not to you, Subterranean, that the earth would cover my bones prematurely, as long as you have your fill of revelry and drunkeness. But I know you, and I ask for your blessings.

Apollo, bringer of light, you grip me and command “Through strict discipline and order you shall build something worthy of me, and achieve new heights. You will bask in the attention of the muses, so long as you sacrifice all to me”. It matters not to you, Far Striker, that such sacrifice can only be achieved through tyranny. But I know you, and I ask for your blessings.

To you, I sacrifice all that I have hitherto loved best: infinite possibility, silly infatuations, and sweet foods. May it please you, and may you deign to show me as much favour as I am worthy of.

Dedication

From my mother, I have learned that pride can have its uses, if tempered by good sense.

From my father, via negativa, that youth is a gift that must be surrendered gracefully.

From my sister, via negativa, I observed that passions should never be allowed to rule one’s mind.

From Mrs. Freire, my history teacher, I acquired a love and fascination for history and the humanities that holds me in good stead to this day.

From Mr. Monteiro, my science teacher, I observed the embodiment of the principles of the gentleman and scholar.

From Miss Olinda, my psychology teacher, good sense, self-possession and utter elegance.

From Paulo, faithful friendship, a will to justice, and many long conversations.

From Carolina, joy of living and an appreciation of small and simple pleasures.

From Peter, the value of discipline, strength, and an hour’s worth of hard work.

From Professor Peterson, to love truth and to fight for it; to disdain tyranny, and to strive for a good, meaningful life. To seek the dragon and slay it.

From Diana, steadfast love and care, even in the face of my insufficiencies.

To my ancestors, I am indebted for the peace, plenty, and freedom for which you toiled and fought. I honour you, and try to live with the dignity you have taught me.

On Substance and Change

Substance and change is one of those old philosophical problems that refuse to go away. Parmenides famously denied all change. Heraclitus said that all is change. I side with the latter.

Our attempts at finding something ultimately stable have had variying results. Plato went so far as to abstract reality’s essence into imperishable forms; Christians have posited an eternal creator and lawgiver who stands outside creation itself.

We seem to have a deep need for stability, both in ourselves and in the world.

Haiku

a warm yellow lamp
steals the stars from far above –
a fool’s contentment.